I've settled into school.  It is such a blessing to be here.  I wanted to share a sermon that I listened to today and the story of the Pastor giving it.  I really encourage listening to this--the talk is 40 minutes long but I literally listened to it standing up in my dorm room, it flew by.

Here is a link to the sermon.  I'm also going to embed it in the end of this post in case you just want to watch it on this site.

The Pastor speaking is Britt Merrick- he has a Church in Santa Barbra that a some of my friends at school go to when they are home.  Monday last week he and his wife found out that his 5 year old daughter, Daisy, had a tumor the size of a nerf football in her abdomen.  People are praying all over the country and God has really been answering!  The tumor was removed on Thursday- which is really incredible because it was very close to vital organs and major blood supplies (one being the Aorta).  So, if you feel compelled, please pray for Daisy and the Merrick family.

Further- I'm putting out this sermon because it is an amazing testimony.  Have tissues handy.  Britt and his wife are pressing into God so much during this hard time.  It is a truly amazing thing to see someone going through such a huge trial and to hear them say that God is good.  I know that my faith was strengthened by listening to it.  God gives and takes away but no matter what His name be blessed.  To see someone living this out is amazing. 

One of the take home points from the sermon is how important it is to be in the Word.  Britt says that because he and his wife have been so in the Word that they have come to know the Character of God.  They are not in a place of questioning, though they are going through great trial.  Instead, they are laying down everything at the feet of Jesus.  They are loving God more and more, standing by their daughter and lifting her up in prayer.  They are declaring God sovereign and trusting in His providence.  Britt attributes the hope that he has in this time to his foundation in the Word of God. 

I think it is really beneficial for us to hear this, because so often we can turn reading the Bible into either chore or something that we brush aside.  When we read the Word of God we are coming into contact with the Creator of the Universe who knows us better than anyone or anything else.  The Bible is God speaking.  We have the benefit of being able to experience God's Word whenever we so desire.  I know that I want to be in the Word more and more meaningfully so that I can come to know God better, to know Christ and to fall more and more in love with Him.  Further, when tragedy befalls me or someone around me, I want to be able to hear God's True Voice loud and clear in my life, as Britt Merrick and his family are doing.  I don't want to question God's authority, instead I want to call upon His Word, knowing that He is good.  I want to fall upon Him, whose strength is so much greater than my own. 

So, here is the embedded sermon.  I hope that you listen to it, but if you don't- let us know that God's word is living, active and with us! "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

When My Heart Is Overwhelmed from Reality on Vimeo.

I sat down to spend some time with God.  I'm in my backyard because I love being outside, especially when I am doing my devotions.  Opening my Bible, I say a short prayer, asking God to teach me as I read His Word.  After I finish reading, I begin my time of prayer.

Hm...and seven minutes later I realize that I'm sitting on my back porch, staring at the trees, thinking about nothing in particular.  Wasn't I praying?  What happened to my prayer?  Yup...once again I've gotten distracted.  I have a couple of things that I'm supposed to do later on and I started thing thinking about them.  Now I want to go do those things. But...wasn't I was praying! Come on, Cecilia! 

I don't know if you've been in this situation, but I've realized that I find myself in it too often.  It brings me to a topic that I spend a lot of time thinking about.  Emotion...and what part it plays in our relationship with Christ.

So yes, thinking about emotion, I can also look at the more emotional times that I have had experiencing Christ.  When I have been brought to tears in prayer or worship, or when I am almost dancing for joy of the Lord-- at those times I don't get distracted.  Or, when I have a really good quiet time and I am excited, and really "feeling it"... then this kind of mind wandering doesn't usually happen.

But, emotion is fickle.  As a girl, I certainly know this is true.  I can't rely on my emotions to tell me truths, because so often they prove false (do you sympathize with this?).  All the same, some of my best experiences with God have been very emotional.  So what is up with emotion?

I've been thinking about this recently and come to some conclusions.

1. Emotion is God given.  Though it is unreliable and fallen (as we all are) it is a gift from God and something that should not be entirely ignored.  Luther said that Christianity is like a drunk man trying to ride a horse, we keep on falling off on one side or the other.  I think that it is very easy to fall on the side of "emotion is everything in my relationship with God" and harder to recognize this than we may think.  When we rely on that high of being close to God we do not rely upon the Truth: His promise, His Strength, His Son.  Allowing our relationship with God, whether it is close or far, good or bad, to be dictated by how we "feel" is very dangerous and not a good thing.  The times when we "feel it" least are probably the most important: seeking God even though you feel lazy, frustrated or unhappy shows a greater depth of love for Him.  For example, with married couples, even though one or both may not "feel it" they are still married and need to show love to each other.

On the other side of the horse is emotion-less Christianity.  Another extreme that I think I've witnessed growing up.  Now, I'm not one to say whether you need to be more emotional about your relationship with God.  Some people just aren't comfortable with their emotions, and God understands that!  People have different ways of expressing love.  But...I do think that it is important not to condemn people for having an emotional experience with God.  While that can't be the ground of their faith, it was probably a great experience that brought them closer to Him.  How great!  Further, we can't act like emotions are all bad.  We've all got them!  God made us to have emotions...so denying them altogether...is pretty unhealthy.

2. We shouldn't rely upon or seek emotions from God.  DESIRE is different from emotion, though.  Yes, these are very closely linked.  When we really want something, we often feel that desire.  To go back to the example scenario that I started out with: in that situation, I don't need to "feel" more into it with God, to work myself into tears, or jump for joy, etc.  But I do need to desire and revere Him more.  There is a pretty thin line between these concepts, but I hope that this makes some sense.

If I rely on emotion to keep me focused when I meet with God, then I rely upon something very fleeting.  Im this situation it is most likely that I will eventually fall away from seeking Him.  And I've been there; growing up I did not always seek God consistently, and I did rely upon emotions go get me "into it."  But, as we press into Him we know this: "By faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope"  (Galatians 5:5).  This is just one quote about hope and desire, Paul writes about this hope many times.  In Romans 8 he says that our hope is the redemption of our bodies.  So from the Bible we know this: we are supposed to long for Christ to come and make us fully new in Him.  To be made complete in God, to know Him fully- we should want this as Christians!  And this isn't a fleeting emotion, it is supposed to be a constant state.

So, back to my scenario of getting distracted from prayer. When I meet with God, read His Word and talk to Him, I am interacting with the Creator of the Universe.  I mean, wow.  He's...so holy and mighty and awesome...for me to think about what I'm wearing to dinner instead of reading His Word or praying during my quiet time...that is pretty embarrassing and shameful.

The good news is that we have a merciful, merciful God who loves us more than we know.  He is a Father, delighted in His children.  But, it is more than due to give Him our full attention and our desire.  Further, it is best for us when He is our greatest desire, and the Scripture also points us to this.  And that is my prayer.  When I find myself distracted or careless, I pray that God would forgive me, teach me to fear Him, and give me focus and desire.  Sometimes we really just have to ask God to give us that desire Paul writes about.  To help us to want Him.  And, it is so great to know that I don't have strength enough to do this on my own.  We need to rely on Him for everything!  Even for just desiring Him.  In my relationship with God, His strength and His power sustain both of us.

So, as I look forward, I persist in my prayer for desire.  For zeal and love of God most High, Who sent His Son for me.  That I may revere Him and long to be made whole in Him. Distraction happens, and I don't always "feel it" but as I persist, God has enough strength for me to move forward.

Over spring break this year I went on a missions trip to Roatan, Honduras.  It was, to say the least, an amazing experience.  I went with a big group of students from my Christian fellowship at school.  On one particular day the leader of our group who runs a nonprofit on Roatan (Roatan is an island) brought a few of us to a local school to share about Jesus and how following Him has changed our lives. 

The school we went to (and most of those we visited) was a small and Christian.  The students ranged from age 7 to 16.  There were four classrooms and a chapel.  We spoke in the chapel and then sang a couple of worship songs.  I went and stood among the students while my friends led the singing. As we sang I noticed that a girl in the row behind me had a distinct and beautiful voice.  After we finished the kids went off to class, and I turned around and found the girl with the pretty voice.  I complimented her and she told me that she knew how to play guitar.  Bold yet graceful, she asked me if she could play us a song.

Her name is Audrey, she is twelve years old.  She walked up to my guy friends (two of whom are Football players, and the other water polo, so pretty big guys, you will see in the video) and asked if she could play their guitar.  I was impressed by her courage to even ask!  She sat down and played us the Hillsong United song "Lord of Lord's" sung originally by Brooke Fraiser (now one of my favorite songs).  The minute she started singing tears sprung from my eyes.  It was as if a veil had been lifted that was between us and God.  His presence filled the room and I immediately felt very close to Him. Listening to her sing lifted the eyes of my heart to Christ.  I know that sounds really cheesy and impossible, but I have no other way to say it.  God was being exalted in that room and His love was pouring out among us.

Audrey's voice was, and is, amazing.  The sound quality of this video does not do her justice.  After asking, we found out that she taught herself how to play guitar by listening to Hillsong United CDs and recreating their sound.  She wants to sing for Hillsong when she gets older, and I pray that God will make this possible for her.  She also told us that what she wants in life is to bring glory to God.  It was amazing to see those words come from a 12 year old so genuinely.

While she is not the poorest on the island of Roatan, she comes from a much less than most of us have ever known.  Growing up amidst much poverty has made her mature beyond her years. Anyway, here is a video of her singing the song Hosannah.  Our leader started filming upon hearing that she wanted to sing for Hillsong.  Hopefully this video will make that possible someday!  I think that most of us in this video are crying.

After experiencing her true gift in worship, my friend, who isn't shown in the video, decided to give her his guitar.  The other girl in the video painted the guitar case with Audrey's name and covered it with verses of Scripture.  On the last day of our trip a group of guys brought the guitar to her as a surprise.  She was shocked and very grateful.  It's funny how on missions trips we often expect to go and bless those we meet, when really we are the ones who receive the greater blessing.

I hope you enjoyed the video. Pray for Audrey!  And isn't it amazing, we have brothers and sisters literally all over the world.  Let's pray for the Church to be strengthened all over the globe, as well as at home.  And let us fix our eyes on Jesus, Hosannah in the highest!