I saw a post in the vote section on Revelife the other day. I don't think it is there anymore. Anyway, a man was asking for advice on whether or not he should divorce his wife. They are both Christians, though slightly unequally yoked, he said. They didn't make each other happy but they loved each other very deeply (he said) and they were growing and becoming stronger in their love since they were going to Christian couple's counseling. They read the Bible everyday and prayed together often. They do not have any problems with abuse or marital unfaithfulness.
Still, both this man and his wife felt that God wanted them to get a divorce. His post asked for advice from readers on whether they should get a divorce and why would God want them to do this when the Bible is clear that couples should not divorce. I mean, this is a very good question. Especially given the situation. I understand why Revelife wouldn't put up that post- it is very personal- but he submitted it so I felt like writing a less personal reaction.
Jesus clearly says that divorce is not good, that if you divorce someone for reasons other than unfaithfulness then you are forcing your spouse to commit adultery when they find a new significant other. I am way too far away from having to think about divorce to discuss how this works in my life (I'm 20...and not getting married soon). I mean, Lord willing that I get married, I know don't think He'll will me to get a divorce. It doesn't make sense for me to talk about this subject- but I think that divorce in a broader sense is something that we as Christians should think about and should consider our approach to.
So yes, the Bible says that divorce is wrong. Let's also face the facts, the divorce rate in America is over 50%. Sad, but true. We all either love someone who has or have ourselves been affected personally by divorce. We the Church need to be Christ to people who are suffering from divorce (Yes, I know that divorce is seen by many as the "best thing" for all involved, but it still hurts). While we follow Christ's teachings and uphold them in our lives (and also promote them in others') we should
not condemn people for divorce.
Our best example of this is of Christ when the adulteress is brought before Him and He asks the Pharisees, if they have been without sin, to cast the first stone. We all mess up and hurt each other. Let's have grace with each other and love like Christ did. He was the only one who could have condemned that woman, but instead of doing so, He let her go and told her to leave her life of sin (John 8 1-11). I've got to be humble, I've sinned a lot and still struggle with sin. Knowing our sin in light of Christ's righteousness, we Christians should be the most humble people on this planet. And also the most loving.
So, back to the post I saw on the vote tab a couple of days ago-- I don't know what this man should do. I don't understand why God would tell you to get a divorce when the Word says not to. I will say this, though. In speaking to some of my older friends (and my mom) I've heard a good analogy between our relationship with God and relationships with a spouse. As a Christian I know that I don't always "feel it" in my relationship with God. Its true, I don't always feel fuzzy, in love and amazed by God. I love God, very very much but the emotion comes and goes. Emotion is fickle. I also struggle with God. There are times when I get frustrated. But I know that after that struggle has been worked out and after I have endured despite my changing emotions that my relationship with Him will be all the deeper.
Now, I don't know from first hand experience, but it seems that a marriage is similar. I hope that if I get married, I will have the patience to endure through the hard times (and I don't even know how hard they may be). And yes, God is perfect, so that does make the relationship easier than a relationship between two imperfect people. Cheating, abuse, indiference-- these aren't issues that I have coming from God. Marriage is much messier. But, I think and hope that in a relationship where you know that you love the other person deep down and aren't dealing with abuse or unfaithfulness, that divorce should really be the last option. In the case of this man and his wife- I hope that they stay together, but I'm not going to advise them to. It sounds like they are doing really well together now, even though they have had bumps in the past. If God is actually telling them to divorce, though, I have no place saying that.
Note: I know that I have no place talking about marriage or divorce. Forgive me if I've said something wrong, I don't have any actual experience with marriage other than observation. These are just my thoughts and hopes. God bless.
Comments (3)
Good blog...although I will have to do am opposimg blog as mu mother professes that she amd my dad are gettimg a divorce because God told here to. I know, dom't even get me started!
xo
! I'm sorry dude :( that really stinks. yeah i mean I have no idea if God actually told this person to divorce or not. if He really did- then I'd say obey Him. but that is really rough. i will be praying for you.
Good post. This idea of one or both spouses being told to divorce each other is pretty new to me. It just doesn't make sense to me how God would contradict himself so blatantly? Now, divorce for other reasons is a different story (and one that has been much on my mind and heart lately). No, I'm not God, but to me this particular situation screams Satan's work--not a message from God.